Something Missing

What's wrong with my translation? They all messed up.

Let Me Know I Am Doing

What am I doing here? Everyone around me is movin on. What about me? Everyone is doin their job. Some go to UN; some go to localization companies. I am staying here, doing nothing. I thought I can get some cases from Taiwan, but things don't really go as I wish. So far, I've been through six tests. Two of them are from the same company. I got four test results, and I passed all of them. BUT, TargeTek rejected me because I'm in the States now. This is really an unacceptable excuse, but there's nothing I can do about it. TW-Day was about to give me a case, but then they drew back. They had their reason. Disappointed, yes, although the cotact person passed on my information to her collegues. As for Shinewave, they asked me to sign a confidentiality agreement. However, no assignment so far. I'm still waiting for the two more results. I really want to do something right. I need to know that I am moving on.

Confusion

When it comes to love, it can always be very complicated. Do people always stride out for love? Do they always fall in love without fear of getting hurt an lost? I don't. I don't want to get hurt. If ending is foreseeable, is it still a good choice to keep going? Is it still a good choice to maintain the relationship when uncertainty overwhelms? I'm confused. I'm really confused now. Should I believe what I see and what I feel?

Clumsy Attempt

I wanted to have a nice talk with you. I wanted to be nice to you. I know I have been irrational and emotional for the past few days, and that gave you a hard time. What Mavis told me reminded me to treat you better and stop being so irrational that would drive people crazy. I tried, but I guess I failed. I guess that's what is called "clumpsy attempt." You want to do something, but what you do is totally the opposite. And after that, you feel regret and you feel totally hopeless. You want to make it up, but you don't know how. Or you're afraid it would be another clumpsy attempt.
Who says being in love is easy? It never is.

Going Back to Monterey

It's about time to go back to Monterey. Julien asked me if I feeled excited about going back to school. Well, who can ever get ready for torture and inquistion? I'm in deep worry, worried about the upcoming challenges, in very way. I hope I can make it, and I am now expecting the summer vacation. Maybe I have got too much used to the happy and leisure life in Redwood City. I really don't feel like going back to school. Life here in Redwood City is not much fun, but at least, I don't have to pay much attention to what I should and shouldn't do. I'm going back to Monterey tomorrow. I know I'm going to miss life here a lot. I'm going to miss him a lot.
Miss you already.

Small Towns? Big Cities?

Back in Taipei, I was more accustomed to living in big cities (of course, it's much more convenient.). But now, after living in the United States for more than 6 months, I like countryside much more than big cities.
Monterey, a small town where you can see people you know every 5 steps. You can rely on your own feet or buses to go almost everywhere in this town (going shopping is another story, though.). Basically, if you are not an outgoing person who absolutely needs to go out every week, I mean really being really out of the town, you don't need a car. How about Redwood City? Well, it's even more convenient. Caltrain or buses are all right at the corner. Living at these two quiet, small town, it's pretty much living like living in the countryside. You can hardly hear anyone after 9:00 in the nighttime. During New Year, Redwood City is more like a dead town, no one was walking on the roads. No restaurants or movie theaters opened during the holiday. Well, it's not the United States that I could think of before I come here.
San Francisco? Of course, the biggest city nearby. A busy city like this should be one of my favorite places. Yet, somehow, I don't like it. It's too crowded, just like Taipei, even worse. The traffic is terrible. The cable cars are exotic and interesting, but they are, in some way, annoying, especially when you yourself are driving on the road and you have to get used to the bumping tracks on the road. But San Francisco has its beauty to some extent. It is different from Taipei.
If you ask me which I like better, big cities or small towns, I would say small towns if I have to drive myself. Well, I don't hate driving. It's just making me uneasy, especially after I've got used to big spaces in small towns.

Live the Way I Am（10/30/2006）

Love is never easy, and people can't alwayws get what they want.
What do I want? I want to be loved. It's an easy, and a difficult answer. It's alwayws that easy to "expect" to be loved, but it can never be an easy task to find someone who actually love the way you are.
Twice. I have been in the dilema twice. Though I don't know the result of the second one yet, I'm expecting the worst. I do like him. So? He told me he likes me. So? Things keep changing, and it's not in my hand. I can't even give him my trust.
Maybe it's better not to get invovled in love. I'm tired of worrying about this and that. Even though I do care, I don't want to show too much of my concern. I have learned to apethetic. Yet it's still difficult. I wan to give up. I want to live an easy life in which I don't have to worry about losing things I care. The best way to be hurt by losing something you care is not to care about something. That's pathetic, but it's ture.
I'm not sure how much longer I can stick to it. Maybe it's time to stop. I have all those expectations in my head, but somehow I know none of them will become reality.